Sunday 16 October 2016

Why ‘Ae Dil Hai Mushkil’ should be banned all over India- views of a nationalist

-Sidharth Sharma.

The recent news regarding the ban on ‘Ae Dil Hai Mushkil’ by The Cine Owners’ and Exhibitors Association (COEA) in the states of Maharashtra, Gujarat, Goa and Karnataka comes as a solace to the millions of ‘nationalists’ nationwide, who have been waiting to seek revenge of the ghastly Uri attacks. And myself being a ‘nationalist’, I fervently support the decision to boycott ADHM, which stars Pakistani actor Fawad Khan. Not only in four states, ADHM should be boycotted nationwide and I have some solid reasons to substantiate my point.


Coz we are patriotic and for us, our country comes first

…And that’s why all Indian films, starring any Pakistani artiste should be banned, even if it means neglecting the blood and sweat of thousands of Indian technicians and actors. We are ‘true’ Indians and we won’t stand the sight of any Pakistani actor in our films. And that’s the reason why films like ‘Khoobsurat’, ‘Creature 3D’ and ‘Kapoor & Sons’ never saw the light of day. And maybe that’s the reason why Fawad Khan is the most hated celeb in India.

Banning a film is the best way to solve the issue

You couldn’t agree with me more, banning ADHM is the best way to solve the ongoing issue of Cross Border Terrorism. Let me exemplify this. Years ago, the ban on Deepa Mehta’s film, ‘Fire’, proved to be a milestone for the Indian Society. For all those who don’t know, ‘Fire’ dealt with the disease called ‘lesbianism’. And this ban made it possible to eradicate the disease from India. India now comprises of 1.25 billion of ‘straight’ men and women. Similarly, the ban on ‘Kama Sutra’ helped reduce India’s population to such a meagre number that it now stands as the least populous country of the World. 

We support our Army and we’ll try our best to boost their morale

…And what’s better than banning films which star Pakistani actors? We’ll go to any extent to alleviate the distress of our Army, even though it was ‘one of us’ who brutally raped and murdered the daughter of an ex-army officer in Agra and caused great anguish to the family.

Revenge is what we seek

We are impulsive and want immediate results. And for us, banning ‘their’ actors is a better form of revenge than any surgical strikes. It doesn’t matter to us whether the film was shot before or after the attack, nor do we give a damn to the losses incurred by the producer and distributor (who are actually Indians), all we want is revenge, revenge and revenge!

As Indians, it is our duty to protect the dignity of our country and avenge the masterminds of the Uri Attacks. Wait a sec, did I just utter the word  'masterminds'? So what if we can't punish the real culprits, we'll try and punish each and every citizen of the country responsible for the attacks. For us, each one is a culprit- be it their terrorists or their artistes. So, punishing their artistes would be the best form of revenge for us!

-a true ‘Nationalist’

** This post was a sarcastic take on the plight of our country at this stage- the mood swings of a couple of people decide the fate of a film. A film which stars Indian Actors in the lead role and has been produced and directed by an Indian, is uncertain whether it'll be able to see the light of day. Is this absolutely necessary? Who will suffer from this ban? Fawad Khan? Absolutely not. Sufferers will be those Indians who have produced, distributed and exhibited the film. This is something to ponder upon.

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